


Ablaze

by RyuuKevin



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Broken, Death, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, PTSD, PTSD Ichigo, Tragedy, War, but more on hurt, byaichi, canonAU, mild romance, postwarAU, sads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24273658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyuuKevin/pseuds/RyuuKevin
Summary: As he tried to pick up the broken pieces, his world crumbled down into ashes.[Main pairing: Byakuya x Ichigo]
Relationships: Abarai Renji & Kuchiki Rukia & Kurosaki Ichigo, Abarai Renji & Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Byakuya & Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Byakuya/Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Rukia & Kurosaki Ichigo, Kyouraku Shunsui & Ukitake Juushirou
Comments: 24
Kudos: 45





	Ablaze

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I just finished this oneshot because a friend suggested this idea to me and I'm like why not? I hope you all enjoy this story! I know I have other fics to update (oops) but I can't help but post this and so you all know I'm still alive LOL.
> 
> This is ByaIchi so if you do not like M/M, please leave. If you enjoy it, I hope you like the story :)

The war has finally ended. It was long and tiring as everyone in the battlefield felt the burning sensation of their injuries that they received that would leave a mark on them as a lifetime reminder of the war. They felt like they could just drag their body away from the battleground as the heavy weight on all their shoulders finally lifted.

Yet, not all of them enjoyed the pleasure of such.

"Ichigo," the tired voice of Abarai Renji broke out the almost deafening silence after Kurosaki Ichigo, probably now dubbed as the savior of Soul Society, defeated the main villain, "It's finally over."

Ichigo gripped onto the hilt of Zangetsu tightly. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he slowly sheathed his zanpakuto with much dreaded pace. He could feel the worrying looks of the people behind him namely Renji and Inoue Orihime.

"Kurosaki-kun," Orihime said timidly, "Are you alright? Do you need me to heal something?"

The orange head shook his head and looked back. He gave an almost pained smile, "I'm okay, Inoue. We should probably head back to Seireitei."

Renji was about to argue as he felt like there was something wrong with his friend but when he saw those amber eyes that were so full of determination and fire has now diminished, he held back. It held the redhead back even more when he felt the reiatsu from Ichigo. It was so full of emotions that Renji felt like he could suffocate from it.

Orihime noticed this as well and kept up a cheerful facade. She knew how the man before her won't be able to tell what was wrong until he was ready. She nodded, "Alright. We should check up on Rukia and the others."

Ichigo flinched when he heard Kuchiki Rukia's name but nodded anyways, "Yeah, we should."

The three left the battlefield with a slightly unstable pace. Both Renji and Ichigo were too tired from the battles that they had endured and it would be wrong of them to use shunpo when Orihime could not do it. Ichigo didn't like it because it gave him more time to think about some things that he didn't want to.

The war really ended… but at what cost?

When they finally arrived at Seireitei, they headed towards the 4th Division barracks. According to some of the surviving shinigami walking around frantically, the lieutenant of the 13th Division was resting in the hospital.

Ichigo gritted his teeth when he heard the news of the lives that were lost during the war. The trio were approached by Isane, the new captain of the 4th. He couldn't believe it, really. None of the losses were acceptable to him.

_Not even his._

"You can't save everyone, Ichigo," Renji muttered when he felt the orange head's reiatsu flaring up. The lieutenant suddenly felt like there was something missing in the report.

"I know that!" Ichigo shouted as he clenched his fists tightly, "But that doesn't stop the wish of saving everyone!"

Renji faltered. He wasn't sure why the man before was so affected. Yes, when time passed, they were closer than ever and Soul Society had good terms with him but he was surprised to see Ichigo cracking under the weight of an invisible guilt.

Isane guided them to where Rukia was resting despite the tight schedule she already had. There were so many unseated officers as well that were injured. Some were mild and most were severe. Ichigo couldn't bear the sight of it. It felt like they won the battle but ultimately lost the war as well.

As they entered the room, they saw Rukia sitting down on the bed and had her back leaned on the headboard. She was covered in bandages and her purple eyes held this solemn look as she stared out the window. When she felt their presence, she looked at them with a scared look.

"Where's Nii-sama?"

Ichigo stepped closer to the bed and was now beside Rukia. The raven was stunned the way the orange head had his eyes casted down and saw how his lips quivered in fear or perhaps, guilt? She gripped onto the tattered shihakusho with all the strength she could muster.

"Ichigo," Rukia whispered, "Where is he?"

She felt that there was something wrong as she battled her way through the war. She didn't believe the words her opponent said but seeing the orange head who always looked strong now looking tired and weak made her heart sink.

"We don't know yet, Rukia," Renji countered lightly, "What are you talking a-"

"I'm sorry," were the only words Ichigo could say.

The grip on his shihakusho was tighter as Rukia pulled him close and leaned her head onto his frame. Ichigo froze as he could feel the wetness of the fabric and the shaking of the raven's body. He was about to lay a hand on Rukia's shoulder when Renji pulled him away from the woman.

"What the hell do you mean?!" Renji shouted angrily. Ichigo could see the pain stricken emotion in those sharp brown eyes staring down at him with fury.

Ichigo's spiky hair casted a shadow over his eyes as he looked down, "Byakuya is dead, Renji." He could hear the collective gasps from Orihime and Isane who were by the door.

The orange head then felt the throbbing pain on his right cheek as Renji punched him hard, making him fly over towards the other end of the room, hitting the hard wall with his back.

"Renji!" Rukia shouted in surprise as she looked over the fuming redhead and the broken man that crashed into the wall.

"Don't make a fucking joke like that, you punk!" Renji growled as he was held back by both Isane and Orihime.

"Stop it, Abarai-fukutaichou!" Isane pleaded with a stern tone.

Orihime tried to pull him harder, "Calm down, Renji-kun!"

"Why the hell should I calm down when that punk made a stupid joke?!"

"Enough, Renji!" Rukia shouted which made Renji pause just a little bit. He was so used to the raven shouting all the time but this time it was different. It held so much pain and anger that might be directed to someone else.

Rukia breathed out harshly, "How could you assume Ichigo would joke something about that?! Just look at him! Is that the look when a person jokes? Huh?!"

The redhead felt like someone dropped a bucket of cold water on him. It was real. He couldn't help but see red when he heard the words from Ichigo. His captain was strong and would survive for everyone even if he needed to crawl back to Seireitei. He just couldn't.

Renji saw the other man slowly get up with a hand on his knee for support. He tried to walk closer to help when Ichigo held out a hand to signal him to stop and Renji complied. When Ichigo finally stood up, he wiped the blood trickling down from his mouth with the remains of the sleeve of his shihakusho.

"I know how you feel, Renji," Ichigo muttered but it was enough for everyone in the room to hear. There was a deafening silence yet again. "I'm sorry I didn't manage to tell you earlier. I was supposed to but…"

Renji walked closer and gripped onto his shihakusho but this time the orange head could feel the sadness radiating from the taller man, "I just couldn't believe it. Taichou… He is too strong to disappear just like that."

Ichigo quietly gulped as he saw the tears silently flowing down Renji's face and at the corner of his eye, he saw Rukia crying even more. The orange haired shinigami inclined his head, "I'm really sorry."

He really was.

* * *

Ichigo was slightly taken aback when Rukia offered a room in the Kuchiki Manor when he decided to stay in Soul Society. Isane recommended for Rukia to complete her recovery in her own home to which the raven complied.

Two weeks have passed since Ichigo broke out the news. The raven couldn't help but still break down every time she saw a reminder of her brother. She even had to hold onto the scarf he wore in the past tightly as she cried. It brought pain to both Ichigo and Renji as they saw her and Renji couldn't help but drink away the pain as well.

Ichigo couldn't break down when he saw his friends like that. He needed to be strong for them. For everyone. Even if just one push could already break him apart. The orange head couldn't bear to see them so hurt anymore. To him, it would be better if he were to suffer by himself.

' _You bastard. Why did you have to go?,'_ The orange head thought as he let out a deep sigh. He should control himself. It wouldn't help anyone and it would most certainly not help him. He chanted this in his mind over and over again.

The young shinigami turned a corner of the Kuchiki Manor corridor and was put to a halt to the sight of the garden that was personally cared for by Kuchiki Byakuya. Just the thought and sight of it twisted his chest in an indescribable pain. The garden was beautiful. It was filled with different types of flowers that Byakuya seemed to like and at the center of it was a beautiful and large sakura tree.

His chest thumped in pain.

Ichigo's eyes landed on the raven haired woman who was kneeling down in front of the sakura tree. It was odd, to say the her in a dark purple yukata and his amber eyes saw the bandages that were wrapped around her body. It was less compared to before but it still looked bad.

He let out another sigh and decided to approach her. He was wearing a fresh pair of shihakusho that Rukia offered him. It was weird that it was slightly bigger than his own frame but then he realized something as he smelled a familiar scent that belonged to someone that caused him to feel so many different things.

As he walked closer and finally stopped beside her, he saw that Rukia had her eyes closed and her hands were on her lap. Her face was calm but was almost overcome with fatigue. The loss of the Kuchiki head wasn't exactly the best outcome for the clan and now Rukia had to shoulder everything.

A few minutes had passed and Rukia's voice made Ichigo jump, "What are you doing here, Ichigo?"

"I came to check up on you," Ichigo replied quietly as he looked up to stare at the sakura tree branches that were slightly swaying from the cool air.

Rukia slowly looked up at him and urged him to sit down beside her and Ichigo complied. She then continued, "How were the repairs?"

Ichigo folded his arms, "It was okay. Slow but there's progress."

A short pause engulfed them until the orange head whispered, "We lost too many people in the war." There was a tone of regret in the man's sentence.

"You can't save everyone, Ichigo," the raven said.

"I know," the orange head sighed, "Renji told that to me too."

"He's right though," Rukia countered, "You should not blame yourself for all the loss that we had. They fought hard and proud."

When Ichigo didn't reply, Rukia continued to speak, "The funeral ceremony will be held in an hour. Will you go?"

"I don't know," came the hesitant reply.

"Ichigo," Rukia said wearily, "It's alright to grieve for him."

Purple eyes looked as the man gripped onto his forearms tightly and whispered, "I can't. Not now. Everyone needs me."

Rukia silently gritted her teeth. She couldn't bear to see her friend like this anymore. Seeing him in that state was too much for her as well.

"Stop it, Ichigo!"

Ichigo snapped out and looked at the fiery eyes from the woman beside him. He was confused. Why was she mad at him?

"Stop what?"

Rukia immediately grabbed his shihakusho and pulled his face close to look at him dead in the eye, "Isn't it obvious? Stop destroying yourself! Need you? Ha! How could you help everyone when you look the most broken out of all of us?!"

His eyes widened in fear when he felt something wet trailing down his cheek. He was speechless. He thought he did a good job hiding his pain from everyone. He helped fix the buildings, tried to help in other barracks that lacked the manpower and tried to stay normal when he was with his friends. It wasn't enough to hide it, it seems.

"Haven't you noticed, Ichigo? You haven't let out any tears in weeks! That's too much even for you," Rukia's voice was wavering as she felt the tears stinging at the corner of her eyes. It pained her to see the headstrong shinigami to look so broken, "You helped and comforted us as we grieved. Why couldn't you let us do it for you?"

"I-"

"Please, just once, let your friends help _you_."

Rukia immediately pulled him close and wrapped her thin arms around his waist as she hugged him tightly. She felt her shoulder getting wet by the silent tears that Ichigo hadn't let out in weeks as he clutched onto her yukata, as if he was afraid that Rukia would disappear too.

The raven held him even tighter and she let them stay in the position for a while. She would not hesitate to drop everything and comfort the one friend that she trusts so much and was hurt the most out of all of them. She knew what happened and it let her know the pain even more.

Ichigo couldn't care less anymore when he still kept letting his tears out. There was no use in hiding it anymore. Him bringing up a strong facade wouldn't help anyone is what he realized. He was grateful that he had his friends to support him all the way and should not shun them out.

Ichigo was surprised when the raven was strong even if she lost her brother and even her captain. Both men were precious to her but she still tried to keep her head held up high. The orange head was at awe.

"I couldn't believe he's gone, Rukia," he managed to croak out, "I just can't."

Rukia responded with the action of rubbing his back lightly and let the man speak more.

"How dare he say that to me before he…"

"He didn't want to die without regrets, Ichigo," Rukia replied quietly, "He wanted you to know before anything happens."

"Fuck regrets!" Ichigo clutched her yukata tighter, "I could've lived without knowing…"

"And forever wonder?"

When all the raven got was a quiet sob, she sighed and rubbed his back comfortingly. For once, she will be strong for Ichigo. She at least owes her brother that.

* * *

Ichigo, Rukia and Renji were standing at the far end of the Sokyoku Hill as they watched the new captain commander, Kyouraku Shunsui, handling the event. There were too many casualties and decided to use the hill as a place to do it.

The thought of the ceremony being held at the place where Ichigo and _he_ fought for their lives, honors, and ideals in, it honestly gave him physical pain. It was too much. He was surprised that he could even handle standing on the very same grounds at the moment.

Renji apologized again for punching Ichigo the moment he saw the orange head, along with Rukia, walking towards him. The response was the same with Ichigo waving his hand dismissively and said it was okay. Ichigo was glad that Rukia promised to keep the moment earlier between them for now.

Due to that, they were quite late to the funeral but not that it mattered anyways. Ichigo watched the ceremony unfold with watchful and dull amber eyes. It was painful to hear his former comrades' names that were listed by Kyouraku one by one with sadness.

He froze when he heard the very name of the man that affected him so. He gulped the lump in his throat and clenched his teeth. He tried to stay as cool as he could but his companions could feel the suffocating reiatsu coming from him.

It was shouting in agony.

When it was over, Rukia informed him that there was another funeral to be held in the Kuchiki Manor. She said every head was to be buried there when the time came. She looked at him worriedly.

"They said outsiders weren't allowed," Rukia said, "But I forced them to let you and Renji attend. You two deserve to be there."

"I see."

Rukia frowned, "Are you sure you can go, Ichigo? It's alright if you can't-"

"I will go," Ichigo said firmly as if assuring the woman before him that he could do it.

Could he? He didn't know.

Renji went beside Ichigo and squeezed the man's shoulder lightly as a sign of encouragement. The orange head looked over the other man and the redhead gave a small smile to which Ichigo responded with his own.

Then, they were approached by the captain commander who offered them a sad smile and a wave, "Ichigo-kun, Rukia-san, Renji-san."

Renji and Rukia bowed at him and Ichigo nodded as a greeting. They all saw the way Kyouraku looked even older compared to the times he was the captain of the 8th. Everything that happened and the loss of his dear friend took a toll on him.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Kyouraku said solemnly.

"I'm sorry as well, Kyouraku-soutaichou. Ukitake-taichou is in a better place now," Rukia replied softly.

"Indeed he would," the commander agreed, "Please pray for Byakuya-kun for me."

"I will," Rukia said reassuringly.

Kyouraku's gray eye looked at Ichigo knowingly and let his hand squeeze the younger's shoulder, "Don't give up, Ichigo-kun." And with that, he left.

Ichigo sighed but said nothing to stop the man. Only Kyouraku, Renji and Rukia fully knew what happened and he was glad that they all kept it. It was even surprising that the gossip man himself did not say anything.

The trio silently walked back to the Kuchiki Manor. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence but it was still quite heavy. The event that they'll go through now will be different. They were now under the watchful eyes of the Kuchiki elders. Ichigo couldn't care less but for Rukia, he would behave. Well, try to behave.

When they arrived at the Manor, they immediately went to the area where they buried all the Kuchiki heads in their own personal cemetery. The event was like the one earlier but shorter due to that they only had to do it with the former head. When it ended, people proceeded to try and talk to Rukia, who looked quite uncomfortable, and gave their condolences.

She, of course, took with it grace and politeness. If Byakuya could see her now, he would be so proud. Renji and Ichigo went to the corner of the area and let Rukia handle the people. They already felt that they were unwanted by the nobles, anyways.

As they were waiting, a pair of nobles passed by them that gave them dirty looks to which both of them replied with a glare and a scowl. Like hell they would let those nobles bring them down just because they were outsiders.

Ichigo' ears perked up when he heard one of the old nobles say, "Look at those outsiders. They look like such buffoons."

The other noble nodded in agreement and replied, "Indeed. No wonder Kuchiki Byakuya died as he acquainted himself with a _ryoka_ and had a brute for a lieutenant."

Something snapped inside Ichigo which made him shunpo over them and tried to land a punch but was held back by Renji as the redhead wrapped his arms around the younger's waist tightly.

"How dare you say that!" Ichigo spat, "Byakuya died for this damn world and your petty ass and you still fucking badmouthed him?!"

"Ichigo," Renji said with gritted teeth, "Calm down. Your reiatsu will kill them."

The redhead was mad but he held it in for their own sake and knew that Ichigo wouldn't be able to control himself if he heard such words coming out from their mouths. He already had a hard time holding the orange head down.

The nobles' eyes widened in fear and they stepped back. Rukia immediately stood in between the nobles and Ichigo. She glared at the orange head with slight concern.

"Ichigo, stop right this instant," She then looked back at the older men, "I apologize for his behavior."

"Why the hell are you apologizing to those geezers?! They're being ungrateful in Byakuya's own funeral. What kind of person does that-"

"That's enough!" Rukia said firmly and looked over at Renji, "Please take him to the gardens."

"Right," Renji nodded and dragged the thrashing Ichigo. He whispered, "Don't make it harder than it already is, Ichigo." With a bit more resistance, Ichigo sighed deeply but still gave a nasty glare at the nobles before following Renji.

When they saw the pair left, Rukia heard the nobles sigh and gave her a grateful yet sly smile.

"Thank you for making that barbarian leave, Kuchiki-sama. It was starting to ruin the event."

"I apologize again," She said respectfully but then gave them a glare that could almost rival Byakuya's, "But say one more insulting thing to Renji _and_ Ichigo, I will personally make sure that the issue wouldn't be left alone. Understood?"

The nobles quietly nodded in fear and Rukia bowed at them, "Well then, gentlemen. Please excuse me."

"Of course," the noble replied.

She gave them a curt nod and left them to their own devices. The nobles looked at each other and gulped. Another Kuchiki head that was as stubborn as the last one has appeared.

Night came and the trio were by the porch as they surrounded a jug of sake. Each of them were taking a sip from their cup as they enjoyed their companionable silence. Honestly, they were tired just from attending the events that occurred earlier and the rampage that Ichigo did made it even worse.

Renji took another sip and sighed, "Damn, if it wasn't for strawberry here, I would've lunged at the damn old man and choked him."

"But you stopped me," Ichigo glared at him.

"Of course I did!" Renji countered, "We were only invited by Rukia so we gotta control ourselves somehow."

The orange head gripped onto his cup tightly and looked down, "I couldn't stop myself when I heard such bullshit." He then looked over at Rukia, "I'm sorry about that."

Rukia placed down her cup and shook her head, "Honestly, Ichigo, I would've choked them myself but I couldn't."

Ichigo chuckled dryly at that, "Glad I could be of service."

They continued to drink the sake until it ran out. All they were talking about were the random things that happened in the past and somehow, Ichigo laughed. The only topic they ever avoided was about the man they all grieved for.

* * *

Ichigo abruptly woke up feeling groggy and his head throbbed painfully at the sudden movement. He woke up from a nightmare yet again. It has been going on for days and it is starting to eat him from inside out. He never told Rukia or Renji about it. They are already too worried by their own problems and he would feel guilty of adding more to that pile.

The orange head looked at his hands and the flashes of memories of seeing his hand covered in blood that wasn't his appeared. He clenched his fists tightly and it visibly shook with the amount of force he did. The guilt and regret was suffocating him every single day.

He felt like he was drowning all over again.

He didn't feel like moving at all. All motivation was lost. Ichigo always considered that he should approach someone about the matter. Isane was the best choice but even the woman has suffered enough by healing so many shinigami for the past days. He should bear this alone, that's what he always chanted in his mind.

Even as he said that, he could feel the _need_ , the _want_ to escape the endless ocean of deep regret and guilt. He should've saved him. He should've been quick. He should've done something. _Anything._

But he wasn't able to.

* * *

A year has passed and Ichigo still decided to stay in Soul Society. He was even asked by Rukia and Kyouraku multiple times. They were always asking if he was sure and Ichigo kept replying that he was. It's not like he could return to a normal life after everything he's been through.

Ichigo walked around the Kuchiki Manor grounds aimlessly. Kyouraku told him that he needed to take a break for once and didn't let him do anything, much to his dismay. So many things had happened during the year. Rukia became captain of the 13th and Renji became captain of the 6th. At first, the redhead was hesitant as it was only reserved for the Kuchikis but Rukia insisted him to take the position. It was a position that he deserved rather than a random man.

Ichigo went back to the gardens and saw Rukia mumbling to the sakura tree yet again. It had been going on for a while now. At first, Ichigo found it weird but he then soon accepted it since whenever he asked, he always got ignored or got kicked in the shins. He pondered for a second if he should approach the raven haired captain or not.

He simply shrugged and walked towards her. He plopped down on the grass beside her and she briefly stopped her talking and looked back at Ichigo.

"What do you want now?" Rukia questioned.

The orange head shrugged, "Nothing, really."

"Are you still wondering why I'm doing this once in a while?"

"Kinda but if you're planning to kick me again then I'll pass."

Rukia sighed as she stood up and hovered her hand over the trunk of the tree, "Somehow, I could still feel his presence."

"That sounds kinda creepy-" Ichigo immediately shut his mouth when Rukia glared at him.

The raven looked back at the tree, "He had been nurturing this tree for years, Ichigo. He took care of this place when he was alive."

"I know that."

"Then, why not try for yourself?" Rukia asked as she glanced back at the younger shinigami.

Ichigo furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Try what?"

"Try conversing with the tree and maybe you'll understand."

Ichigo frowned, "No way I'm talking to a random ass tree-"

"Ichigo!" Rukia seethed, "I could tell, you know. You still have that guilt in your face every time we mention nii-sama."

The orange head flinched at her words. It was true, though. He avoided the topic like the plague and it always raises an eyebrow amongst the other shinigami. The majority knew that the relationship between the noble and him weren't exactly what you call friends and to see him so distraught was odd to them. What they did not know was that they were oddly closer than people see.

"I don't," the younger shinigami said defensively.

"You sure fooled me there," Rukia said as she rolled her eyes, "Now, just go ahead and try it. Maybe, just maybe... it could bring you some peace."

Ichigo sighed deeply and waved his hand, "Fine, I will." He felt like it might really do him some good.

The raven took a good look at the other and nodded, "Good. Well, I have something to do in the office. See you later, Ichigo."

"See you."

The orange head looked at Rukia's back until she disappeared in his line of sight. He sighed deeply. Even Rukia was handling things better than him. It was weird that he had a hard time. Though, it wasn't his fault that he experienced all the pains and horror of war at such a young age. It was scarring his very soul.

Ichigo eyed the sakura tree once more. It was beautiful, just like the person who took care of it. He didn't want to see any sakura petals in the past since all that reminded him was that man. It was tough dealing with his problem. He knew he could trust his friends but he felt like it wasn't even enough.

He slowly stood up and walked closer to the tree. He hovered his hand over the trunk as if afraid that it would burn if he even touched it. Rukia was right, though. He could feel the small traces of reiatsu that were left by the noble. It brought him both joy and sadness which made him sigh again.

"Man, this is awkward… talking to a tree," Ichigo muttered under his breath. He took a long pause before he resumed, "You know, I am still mad at you for saying it to me."

He sighed once more and continued, "I still feel lost even if a year has already passed. I couldn't bring myself to move on. To forgive myself. I know you'd knock some sense into me for saying that."

Suddenly a soft gust of wind hit his face and he chuckled dryly, "I think I'm going insane for assuming that it was you. You were never that soft."

"I couldn't forget what you looked like that time and the smell of the air," Ichigo felt his chest tightening again, "I really felt my world crash down when I saw you like that."

_Ichigo dashed through the rubbles as soon as he arrived in Seireitei. It was utter chaos when he saw the area as he stepped foot in it. He felt a wavering and familiar reiatsu just a few feet away and fear struck him when he did. He left his companions that were with him, forgetting them completely when he could only focus on what's ahead of him._

_He ran even faster and felt his footsteps getting heavier. The reiatsu was dangerously low already and he was afraid he wouldn't even make it. Ichigo gritted his teeth and mustered up everything to head to the desired location. After a few more steps, he finally arrived._

_The orange head didn't know whether it would be his hand gripping on Zangetsu or his knees would give up first. The sight he just saw was just horrible, terrifying in a sense that it hurt him internally. The area was completely ruined and the stench of blood wafted in the air that Ichigo could almost gag._

_There he was, Kuchiki Byakuya. He was stuck to the wall, all bloodied and beaten. He lost an arm and his body was in no good condition at all. The wall was covered in blood._ His blood. _It was scary that there was so much, it was even splattered everywhere on the floor._

_There were not enough words to express how Ichigo felt right at that moment._

_Ichigo took the courage to walk towards the man. He could still see the man's chest moving and he was still letting out reiatsu. His amber eyes darkened as he took in the state of the man before him more clearly._ It was more severe than he thought. _It was even a miracle that he was still breathing._

" _Byakuya," Ichigo managed to let out softly._

_He saw those dull slate gray eyes trying to move in his direction which made Ichigo go fully in front of him to not strain the man even more. Ichigo saw Byakuya's lips moving ever so slowly as he said something. The orange head was only half listening as he tried to rack up in his brain for ways to save the captain of the 6th._

" _Are Renji and Rukia… alive?"_

_Ichigo's breath hitched and replied with a strained tone, "They're alive… They're fine…"_

" _I see… Good…"_

_The orange head clenched his fists tightly. Why does it sound like Byakuya was about to say farewell? It can't be. Ichigo held his breath. He couldn't accept. There is no way he could._

" _Please protect Soul Society," Byakuya's voice was broken and made Ichigo snap out of his thoughts._

" _Wait, Byakuya! Don't give up now," Ichigo said frantically, "Let me try to at least put you down."_

" _There's no use… I will not last much longer."_

" _There is!" Ichigo shouted, "I will find a way, Byakuya. I_ will _save you."_

_The noble managed to let out a strangled laugh, a surprising action by the noble, "You are always stubborn, Kurosaki."_

" _Hell yeah, I am," the orange head said as he found a way to lower Byakuya down on the ground, "So, be a stubborn asshole like before and stay put. I'll go find help."_

_Ichigo tried to stand up but the weak fingers wrapped around his wrists made him stop. He immediately looked at the noble with furrowed eyebrows, "I need to go now or you won't make it, Byakuya."_

" _It's too late," Byakuya said as he closed his eyes, "Leave me be."_

_The orange head knelt beside him and resisted the urge to shake the injured man, "In no way I'll give you up!" It felt like those words also meant something else._

_The captain's eyes briefly widened when he felt a drop of tear on his stained cheek. He saw that Ichigo was silently letting his hot tears flow out._

" _Why are you crying?"_

" _Are you seriously asking a dumb question?" Ichigo said as he tried to wipe his tears, "Don't give up now. What about Rukia? Renji? The clan? …. Me?"_

" _You?" Byakuya asked._

_Ichigo clenched his fists but didn't say anything. His eyes widened in horror when he saw that Byakuya coughed up blood._

" _Shit, shit! Okay, that's it. I'll get some help right now!"_

" _Stay," Byakuya said, almost pleading._

_The orange head slightly faltered. Seeing how broken the man that he knew that was always so strong, stoic and always held himself up high was lying down and felt even defeated. It hurted him so much. He gulped the lump in his throat and nodded wordlessly._

_Byakuya told him to come closer, which the young shinigami did. He was already face to face with the man since he could barely hear him anymore. Ichigo's eyes widened when a thumb softly caressed his cheek as he felt the ghost of the noble's lips over his and muttered something before he gave a genuine smile at Ichigo. When Ichigo was about to say something, he saw how the noble's arm dropped back down._

" _Oi, oi, Byakuya," Ichigo said nervously as he lightly shook the unmoving noble that had his eyes closed but with a satisfied smile, "Don't play a prank on me. Come on. You can't say that and leave me. Oi!"_

_After a few more tries, the orange head's chest tightened. He couldn't believe it. Byakuya was gone… Just like that. He gripped onto the man's tattered shihakusho and leaned his head on the man's shoulder as he tried to hold back the sudden empty feeling and his tears._

" _You asshole. You didn't even wait for my response…"_

* * *

Months passed and Ichigo talked to the sakura tree every now and then. It seemed like it was already his anchor in this world. Zangetsu mocked him a lot for it but he didn't care. Rukia doesn't even seem to question it. Renji was a different case, however. He was like when Ichigo first heard Rukia talking to it.

"Are you going crazy?" Renji asked worriedly. His friend must need a visit to the 4th Division barracks soon.

Ichigo, who was standing by the sakura tree once more, looked back and stared at his friend, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Renji pointed towards the tree, "You're talking to it… again."

The orange head clicked his tongue and faced back at the tree, "Leave me alone, Renji."

The red haired captain frowned. Now, he was really worried that Ichigo might've lost his mind. While he could understand, it was baffling for him that the orange head talked about his problems more to a tree and not to his friends. _A tree!_ He lost Ichigo to a fucking tree. Could he really sense Byakuya there? He was honestly afraid to ask.

Renji sighed as he walked closer to the other, "As much as I would want to do that, Kyouraku-soutaichou requested for you in the meeting."

Ichigo furrowed his eyebrows, "What? I'm not a captain. Why am I needed there?"

"Dunno," the redhead shrugged, "But he just told me to get you."

"When's the meeting?"

"In a few minutes…"

Ichigo glared at him, "And you told me just now?"

Renji raised his hands defensively, "I was only told now as well. If we use shunpo, we could make it."

"Fine," Ichigo grumbled as he adjusted his shihakusho and zanpakuto.

The orange head nodded towards the other, showing that he was ready to leave. Renji nodded in response and both men used shunpo to quickly head to the 1st Division barracks. Once they arrived, they quickly headed for the captains' meeting hall. They felt like they were the last ones to arrive as they felt the collective strong reiatsu emanating from the hall.

Renji pushed the doors open and Ichigo's eyes immediately landed on Kyouraku, who was giving him a lazy smile as a greeting. The orange head returned the gesture and stood at his usual place that was at a corner of the hall as Renji went to his own spot.

Ichigo observed the meeting quietly with folded arms. He was really confused as to why he was even requested to be here. The agenda doesn't seem to be related to him and Kyouraku hasn't addressed him since the start. It wasn't like that he would be assigned to do something either.

After what seemed like a dreadful hour, Kyouraku seemed ready to end the meeting until he was cut off when the doors abruptly flew right open, revealing a frantic looking member from the 2nd Division.

Kyouraku stood up and glared daggers at the member, "What is the meaning of this interruption?"

"I-I'm sorry, sir but there's an emergency!" The member announced with such nervousness, "There seems to be an act of arson in the west part of Seireitei! It has already spread quickly, sir."

The captains immediately reacted and Hitsugaya Toshiro, captain of the 10th Division, asked, "Have you found out where the fire started?"

"It started at a small house near the Kuchiki Manor, sir!"

Ichigo's eyes widened and shunpo over the poor soldier. He gripped onto the man's shihakusho and glared, "What is the status of the Manor?"

The man gulped the lump in his throat as he felt the orange head's dangerous reiatsu, "A-A part of it was already engulfed in flames when we arrived. I-I believe it was mostly the gardens and a part of the house."

"Shit!" Ichigo let go and used shunpo to leave the meeting hall quickly, ignoring the shouts from the captains.

Kyouraku looked worriedly at Rukia, who looked at the door as if she also wanted to sprint out of there. He shouted, "Kuchiki-taichou, Abarai-taichou, Hitsugaya-taichou. Follow Ichigo-kun. Now."

The respective captains nodded in acknowledgement and used their shunpo as well. Deep down, they were worried for the orange head. The man practically had that pained expression that slowly disappeared but now it has returned with vengeance.

Kyouraku looked at the rest of the captains, "Please assist each other in putting out the flames. You are dismissed."

Ichigo felt his chest burning with worry. Out of all the places, why does it have to be _there_? He felt like the roof tiles of each building he passed through got broken down with the weight he used to dash faster. He needs to go there as soon as possible.

He saved the world. Hell, he saved three but it seemed like the world was against him time and time again. Ichigo felt like he couldn't handle it much longer. He was slowly breaking down in worry. The effort of him recovering ever so slowly seemed to crumble down just as fast as his own shunpo.

After a few more steps, he finally arrived at the Manor. The guards immediately approached him and reported to him that they managed to put out the fire although the gardens weren't saved in time. The moment those words escaped, Ichigo left them be as he headed to the gardens.

Ichigo was frozen in his spot when all he could see was the black tree. His amber eyes dulled as he took in the area. He could smell the horrible stench of burnt grass and wood wafting in the air. His gaze then fell on the sakura tree. Well, what seemed to be what's left of it.

He felt his fists clenched as he staggered towards the now charcoaled tree. The beautiful petals had disintegrated and the trunk was full black. It looked as if it was teleported from Hueco Mundo. He ignored the calls from the guards and the painful sensation in his nose from the fumes.

He felt his knees buckle and he dropped on the stained soil just in front of the tree. Ichigo felt broken and empty once more. The moment he thought that his heart had already healed, his world crashed down all over again as he looked at the one thing that kept him going just right in front of him.

Ichigo gripped onto the ground as if he was trying to get support from it. It felt like his world turned black and white once again as he felt tears streaming down his face quietly. He even ignored the sensation of Rukia's, Renji's and Toshiro's reiatsu arriving at the scene with worriedness trailing all over it.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo cried out as he clenched his fists tighter, "I really am…"

" _I'm sorry that I couldn't even protect what's left of you."_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed and please do tell me what you think! Leave a comment and a kudos perhaps? Check out my other works (Zemblanity, Cigarette, Epiphany) for more ByaIchi. Set up for HitsuMatsu ft. ByaIchi
> 
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